


In The Middle Of A Song

by shellycake



Category: Digimon Frontier
Genre: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellycake/pseuds/shellycake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A depressing story about everyone's favorite warrior of darkness. He has a darkness deep inside of his body that no purification could ever heal. Song Fiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Middle Of A Song

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are song lyrics. Bold are flashbacks.

_You must have been in a_  
_Place so dark_  
_You couldn't feel the light_  
_Reachin' for you through_  
_That stormy cloud_

Kouichi hissed when the male pushed him into the wall. He slowly got up, holding his bleeding side. He had been used to the bullies and the people who were out to hate him. He had been used to it since he was a young child. Maybe that's why he felt that dying was the best often as a child. It already cost his mother a lot to pay for his anti-depressants and his therapy sessions. 

**"Ms. Kimura, we've diagnosed your son with acute depression. We're actually surprised to have a case where an eight year old to become this depressed." The doctor moved to prescribe some anti-depressants for the teenager. Kouichi looked at the man with dull eyes as they talked. He was a thin child, with cut mark already darting his skin. He left them in visible places, which he would later learn to change and hide so not to worry his beloved mother.**

**He never had any desire to make his mother sad.**

**He just wanted to get rid of the pain.**

The teenager soon began to walk to his apartment, opening the door. When he was younger, he could expect to hear 'Welcome home, Kouichi' and get a hug from his mother. However, this was no longer the case. His mother had a work accident when he turned fourteen, which would end up killing her a couple days later. He had been living alone ever since.

Sure, his friends did invite him to move in with them, with their parents (well, minus his own birth father) were all happy for him to move in. However, he lied and claimed that he had an aunt who had moved in and decided to raise him. That was something he was not proud of, but, did he really want his best friends to find about the new marks? 

It was bad enough Kouji even knew.

 _Now here we are_  
_Gathered in our little hometown_  
_This can't be the way_  
_You meant to draw a crowd_

**"Kouichi." Kouji stood in front of the door, making sure his brother couldn't escape this time. The older twin winced, looking at him. He knew the drill; strip down to your underwear and let him check for new cut marks. He reluctantly did, watching as his brother poked and prodded at his body. Soon, he growled, "You've been cutting again, haven't you?"**

**"You know the answer to that.." He spoke softly, moving to rub at his arm. He looked away, self-conscious of his body. He was much thinner than his brother, to the point he could be considered borderline anorexic.**

**"Do you even care about how this feels for your friends!?" The younger twin continued his shouting, before hearing his dad yell. He winced and pushed the other's clothes into his arms. He opened the window, "Hurry up and get dressed. You know what happened last time he saw you here." How could Kouichi forget?**

**He still had a bruise on his neck.**

_Oh why, that's what I keep asking_  
_Was there anything I could've_  
_Said or done_  
_Oh, I had no clue you were_  
_Masking_  
_A troubled soul, God only knows_  
_What went wrong and why_  
_You would leave the stage_  
_In the middle of a song_

His father had actually found out and forbid the two from seeing each other. He even transferred Kouji to a new school when he found out the older twin was in the same school at him. Not even the same class. 

That was honestly a turning point for the male. He had decided to flush his pills down the toilet that night, as he never thought he'd be able to recover with the fact his twin brother and him were separated, once again.

He sighed, moving to make himself a cheap bowl of ramen. He hated the stuff in all honesty, mostly as it tended to be near it's expiration date and when he would eat it, it'd be expired. However, it was the best he could afford, especially since his job was practically hell. He was almost always yelled at due to him getting sick and dizzy due to a lack of food. 

However, this would be the last time he'd ever work at that job.

 _Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen_  
_As a seventeen-year-old_  
_Rounding third to score the_  
_Winning run_

**"What a weirdo." The girls at school were giggling at him. He had dropped his bookbag and several of his books had spilled out. He soon blushed when a new guy kneeled down in front of him.**

**"Hey, are you alright?" The male offered a kind smile. Kouichi blushed and chuckled. He nodded.**

**"Yeah.. I'm just kind of sickly and get dizzy quickly." The teenager frowned, moving to pick up a book, "Huh? I never thought I'd meet someone else who liked the Loveless manga.."**

**This made the older twin blush greatly. He hadn't met anyone who also liked the series. Most people sneered at it and didn't like it due to the homosexual references. Kouichi soon got up, holding his books. He smiled at him, "Well.. likewise.. Are you a new student here?" He nodded and offered his hand.**

**"I'm Raiden. What's your name?"**

**"Kouichi."**

Raiden had been the one person Kouichi could trust. They became quick friends and even began dating. However, this wouldn't end well, as nothing did for Kouichi's life. A couple of bullies began spreading lies that Kouichi was cheating on the male with another of Kouichi's friends, Takuya. 

As Takuya was one of his best friends, Raiden began to suspect this and ended up picking a fight with Kouichi. It would end with the warrior of darkness with a black eye and a broken heart.

 _You always played with passion_  
_No matter what the game_  
_When you took the stage_  
_You'd shine just like the sun_

**"You cheating whore!" Kouichi winced, touching the cheek where he had been slapped. He looked at Raiden in surprise. He was tearing up, not knowing why Raiden was accusing him of cheating on him. After all, he loved Raiden more than life itself.**

**"Raiden, why would I cheat on you!? I told you you're the only one I love!"**

**"Bullshit! Why are you hanging out with other guys, then!? Huh!? I bet you suck their dicks the second I leave your house, you cunt!" He moved to punch the other, causing the teenager to hit his head. Kouichi slid down the wall, watching as his now ex-boyfriend walked off. Tears streamed down his face, looking at the promise ring Raiden had thrown on the floor.**

**"Raiden.."**

Kouichi moved to the rope he had put on the light fixture. He sighed, looking at the noose. He had decided he was doing the world a favor, moving to put it around his neck. He stood on his computer chair, shutting his eyes.

"I loved you, Raiden.. I loved my brother.. I loved this world.. Why.. why did it have to abuse me so badly..?"

With that, he kicked out the chair, just as a certain someone walked into the house.

"Kouichi?"

* * *

_Now the oak trees are swaying_  
_In the early autumn breeze_  
_A golden sun is shining on my face_  
_Through tangled thoughts_  
_I hear a mockingbird sing_  
_This old world really ain't that_  
_Bad of a place_

Raiden sobbed loudly at the funeral. The others beside him were grieving as well, Kouji the only one who wasn't sobbing his eyes out. He wanted to be strong for the others, even though they felt he was the one who needed the most support. 

Not only had he lost a friend.

He lost his twin brother.

In the coffin, Kouichi looked like a white angel, despite the marks where the noose had caused the end of his life. He was in a white suit, with several white flowers around and on his casket. His friends had decided to bury his possessions with him, mostly as they felt it was wrong to take what was all he had. The baseball cap the teenager used to wear was placed on his chest.

His friends soon began to walk up to the coffin, telling Kouichi how much they had loved him.

How much his smile meant to them.

How much his laugh made them smile.

They compared Kouichi to an angel, a beautiful angel who managed to light up their dull lives. 

Kouji was the second to last to walk up. He moved to grip his brother's hand, "You know.. I thought I'd lose you back when we were children.. You were the first person who.. made my life worth living.. Even though.. we're apart once again.. I'm glad to have gotten to know you.." He moved to take off his bandanna, wrapping it around the older twin's wrist. He moved to his friends, beginning to emotionally break down.

Raiden soon walked up, moving to tear up, "'Kouichi.. I was such an idiot.. I let those lies break up with the most amazing person in the world.. And.. it caused your death.."

He kneeled down, tears dripping down his face, "I was such an idiot! Because of me, I lost the most amazing person in my life!" He looked at the corpse of his former boyfriend. He had a soft smile on his face. Raiden moved closer, kissing him gently. He didn't care about the stares he got.

 _Oh why, there's no comprehending_  
_And who am I to try to_  
_Judge or explain_  
_Oh, but I do have one_  
_Burning question_  
_Who told you life wasn't_  
_Worth the fight_  
_They were wrong, they lied_  
_Now you're gone and we cry_  
_'Cause it's not like you to_  
_Walk away_  
_In the middle of a song_  
  
_Your beautiful song_  
_Your absolutely beautiful song_

"I love you, Kouichi."

**Author's Note:**

> I've always felt this song went well with Kouichi. The song in question is "Why" by Rascal Flatts, which talks about someone's suicide and the effect it had on their friends.
> 
> Note: None of these are my personal headcanons for him, except for his mother dying when he's around fourteen, he's gay and he does have depression.


End file.
